Dear Mr. Saporta,
Please do not flaunt yourself at Empire Hotel lounge, as if it is such an unrealistic event for me to attend. I do, in fact, go most every Saturday but unfortunately not this one. I'm unsure how I should feel: blatantly betrayed or jaded by your twisted, never ending rollercoaster. Needless to say- both. I need to step up my game just a notch. Clearly following your Twitter isn't enough.
Thank you for dressing appropriately, as we all know Empire does not allow trendy gym shoe wearing boys up to the rooftop. Don't you worry, I already harassed the owner for not knowing of my obsession prior to this situation to give me a heads up in regards to your appearance. Let's be honest, for the sake of the US Open shindig, it was a blessing I wasn't there.
I currently wouldn't be blogging.
I would be trying to bail myself out of jail.
Meet me in the club, it's going down.
XOXO, Your Soulmate