They all compete for you love
But I don't need to fuck with that
If you don't believe, it's your loss
It's your loss
I don't mind what they say
And I don't need what they got
If you don't like what I say
Put it in your blog
I promise no one gives a damn
I never need your sympathy
'Cause I got my own money
And there ain't nothing you can do me
'Cause I've eaten off the floor before
And we go sha na na na na na
We don't give a damn about
Sha na na na na na
So go on and scream and shout
Sha na na na na na
And I may be rude, but I'm the truth, yeah
Another similarity Mr. Saporta and I share, but we won't go there. I'll make this ever so brief since I'm casually drifting to sleep at 11pm as if I'm not over-worked. It's quite baffling that people would rather go with the flow than stand out by being themselves. I'm blunt, nonchalantly awkward, and have a confusing vocabulary that only my mother would understand (but still can't). Yet, I wouldn't want it any other way. Simply put, I can't take most people seriously. Especially when it comes to appearance. I'm sorry, but I'm guilty of some hardcore judging. If you are incapable of collecting yourself at the beginning of each day, chances are you resemble one who got dressed without a mirror or electricity and perhaps is that disgusting creature who eats a donut on the subway -please choose not to engage in conversation with me. "Hot Mess" is only hilariously appealing when describing a sloppy drunk or a dangerously racy outfit that is questionable of my approval. It's not okay when you tackily over-accessorize as if you were a gypsy, have caked on makeup a few shades darker than your natural skin color, and/or wear leopard and zebra prints at once (piped in hot pink of course). No, I'm not using messy Ke$ha as an example, because she's not hot. Just a solid disaster.
Fact: you can be entirely broke and still be approachable in the public eye. I feel no shame for you.
$5 meal at Burger King wearing a glorified $10 Target bag/clutch/has no shape (that everyone owns) and $15 Charlotte Russe heathered grey studded tunic (that naturally is worn as a dress).
$5-6 healthy pre-made meal at Trader Joes wearing a simplistic $8 Forever 21 gold, fringe necklace and $20-22 Urban Outfitters sale dress/thrift store find.
So when you complain you cannot afford fashion and need to lose weight, I'm just going to cackle back in laughter because no one demanded you make twisted decisions. Thus why magazines were created as an outlet to guide the insignificant souls out of joking harassment and future embarrassment. One day I'm going to write a book. A good chapter will be dedicated to misinterpreted fashion and how disturbing it is to witness "trend setters" and "fad chasers." Hopefully I won't use you as an example. Because like Gabe, I may be rude but I'm the truth.